My name is Tania. My name is Sofiia. We study together at university.

How we ended up living together

It just so happened that last year we were on the same floor — we didn’t live as roommates, but we knew each other. And this year we decided to live together. I’m heterosexual. I’m a lesbian.

I’m fine with pansexuality, with homosexuality, with every orientation there is. Actually, that first year, when we met, I didn’t know about it. The second year, when we moved in together, she told me about her girlfriend. It surprised me a little, but it also made me curious.

We are all equal

And in general, I was raised in a family where we are all equal. We all have to respect one another. And it’s normal that, say, I have one orientation and someone else — a friend — has a different one. And in our society we need to normalize that.

When people don’t accept you

They wanted to drive this devilish force out of me. And they kept telling me to pray more — and maybe God would free me from this sin.

I’m in a relationship now, and my girlfriend and I run into it pretty often. The side-eye people throw at us — that’s already normalized, we try not to pay attention to it. But, for example, we were at a concert, and I just kissed her. It wasn’t even a big deal. And a man grabbed me and pulled me by the head, like this, right there in the crowd.

And I know that if Sofiia had been with me in that situation, she would have protected me. Because I’m the kind of person who keeps quiet — it’s easier for me to say nothing. And Sofiia will always go to bat for me, say everything out loud, defend me.

No, but when we talked through some of the bad situations, I supported her, calmed her down. And I think anyone in my place would have done the same.

This needs to be talked about

It matters to me, because we are all equal and we have to support one another. Everyone has the right to choose, and we should accept that choice. Because not everyone is informed.

In this situation, the people who aren’t in the loop, who don’t understand it — they need to know about this. They need to hear about it from somewhere. And in that case I can be the one who tells them — just like my friend Tania. We all have to talk about it, not stay silent. And treat every person with understanding. It’s very hard — I understand you perfectly.

The main thing is to be yourself

What I’d like to say is, first of all, be yourself. It isn’t always safe for us, but at least try to open up in small steps. Because if these really are your people — they will stay with you. If they aren’t your people, then maybe it’s better to end the relationship. Because how can you be close to people if they don’t accept your nature?

I’ll share something my mom told me, because I realized my orientation fairly early. She always said to me: my priority is for you to be happy. And who you’ll be happy with — that’s already up to you to decide.

On faith and love

“Mentally ill” — that’s the most common cliché among people of a certain age. Grandmothers, grandfathers maybe — someone who isn’t familiar with the topic, who doesn’t know much about it.

What upsets me most is that LGBTQI+ people are considered sinners. And I think that’s wrong, because loving a person of your own gender is definitely not a sin. I’m a Christian, so maybe that needs to be said. As if you can’t be with God if you love a woman.

I want that to change. And I truly believe that who you love affects your connection with God.