My name is Anton, I’m 24. This is my friend Ania. We met at the same job, started talking, seeing each other now and then — and basically that’s how our friendship began.

The first little signs

I didn’t find out right away, but over time, as we got closer, these little signs started appearing. For example, when Anton talked about his relationships, when he shared certain situations or problems, he never gave any details about the person. That is, he would say “partner” — and never described what the person looked like. And for me that was already a hint that maybe he was in a relationship with a guy and didn’t want to talk about it.

But later, when we started talking more, he told me. It wasn’t a surprise to me by then — I took it in stride, because I have tons of friends from the LGBTQI+ community, and I don’t see anything unusual about it.

“It all comes from childhood”

If a person has some illness and on top of that is of a non-traditional orientation, then supposedly it all makes sense, it’s to be expected. And someone once tried, with a very knowing look, to prove to me that it all comes from childhood, that the child was simply traumatized — and that’s why they have that orientation.

Work and public places

I’ve probably run into the idea that it’s better not to hire people like that, because there were situations where I was turned down for a job because of my orientation, for instance. Which is why I started, sort of, not mentioning it when I apply.

Of course there have been situations in my life where people started harassing us on public transit, or something along those lines, or just in movie theaters, malls, any public place. No, for the most part I never ran into anyone defending me. People might, like, publicly condemn the actions of someone who was getting aggressive with us, but on the whole there was no real protection.

People who don’t want to see

Anton and I never had situations where someone was negative toward us because of orientation. But in general there have been situations in my life, in other groups, in other communities, where people spoke negatively about LGBTQI+ people, about acquaintances of mine who have a non-traditional orientation. And that always outraged me.

But there is a layer of people who, it seems to me, there’s no point in arguing with, no point in trying to convince, because those people don’t want to see anything else. They are so boxed into their own very narrow view that they don’t want to understand that someone can be different — and that it’s okay, that it’s normal.

This shouldn’t be talked about — it should be shouted

This has to be talked about, this has to be shown, there has to be representation in society, because that’s the only way to reach a point where society reacts to it normally, where it isn’t something wild that people turn around to look at, point fingers at, and laugh at. And I believe that until the LGBTQI+ community has the same rights as heterosexual couples, we don’t just need to talk about it — we need to shout about it. And all the people who think that LGBTQI+ parades are just for some incomprehensible purpose and don’t make any sense… Please, read something, grow.

“Not like everyone else”

Different? Well, yes — not like everyone else, like. Alien somehow, as if they aren’t ordinary people but some kind of strangers, aliens. Even though you can go to work, study, shop at the same supermarket, live in neighboring apartments — and not know. And think this is a wonderful person, but then for some reason, once you find out… The moment you find out that… Yes, that’s it, like: “Oh God, don’t come near me.” Those situations happened. It feels like LGBTQI+ people are treated as if they were a separate part of the population, as if they were on the other side of a wall.